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All too often, I have found that we single sistahs in the church seem to think that God has passed us by when it comes to being blessed with a husband. We come to church, pray, tithe, worship, serve on committees, and want to have the company of a strong African-American Christian husband. As the tears roll down our brown cheeks, we ask God, “Did you forget about blessing me with a husband?”
Each week as the seat beside us (claimed
as our husband’s) stays empty, we lose the faith. And, when we hear the words, “Sistah, perhaps
it’s not in God’s will that you marry,” makes things even worse. Then we engage
in pity parties and depression sessions.
Although it gets hard at times, we
have to be relentless in our pursuit for God and righteous living. If we are not seeking God’s will first, then Satan
can fill our heads with negative thoughts which may cause us to doubt God. When
loneliness seems to be at its peaks in our lives, we have to fast, pray and
read our Bibles more. We can even ask someone to pray with and for us.
We have to persist in doing what is
necessary to not allow our singleness to prevent us from living happy,
productive and fulfilled lives. Most importantly, we have to come to the
understanding that being single is not a curse, as some people make it
seem. We have to thank God for this
season because it will be different when we have to consider a husband’s needs
rather than just our own. And, let’s be real, some of us, including myself, can
be selfish at times.
During our season of singleness, we
must make righteous living a priority so that we can begin pursuing our
destinies. We cannot do this if we are always having pity parties with
ourselves and other single sistahs about the shortage of available Black men and
how trifling the ones are in which we
have been in relationships. This type of behavior is a waste of time. In lieu of the pity party trap, God wants us
to do what is necessary to build the kingdom of God and not tear it down. We
need to use this time of singleness to focus on God’s will for our lives.
As single sistahs, we have to
change our mindset of singleness and thank God for using this time to prune and
prepare us to do a mighty work for Him. When God feels that we are ready, we
will be introduced to our ‘Boaz’ and we will then be ready to welcome him with
open arms.
© Copyright Carla J. Curtis
August 2004
