Dealing with the Woman in the Mirror

Photo by Jayson Hinrichsen on Unsplash

Updated February 21, 2020

At the start of this new year, I pondered about what resolutions to make. Of course, the usual ones came to mind i.e. eating better, working out, making a vision board, and writing out my goals. However, something about these resolutions didn’t sit well with me. The resolution that immediately came to mind for me to accomplish is to begin really “dealing with the woman in the mirror.”

As I reflect on this past year, I'll admit that I had some tough times, and I truly thank God that I didn’t lose my mind. Through these hard times, I was forced to deal with myself and some of the things I discovered I didn’t like. You know, it would be easy for me to point the finger at others for treating me a certain way, rather than looking at my own decision making. And, I’ll admit that in some situations, I made some bad choices and decisions that thinking about them now makes me cringe! Before I go any further, this blog post is not to beat myself up or live in constant condemnation. It is just me being honest.

As women, self-reflection is often not easy for us to do because it can make us feel vulnerable. Nonetheless, it’s necessary if we want to become better women and leaders to empower and inspire others to grow in Christ. Reaching souls for Christ is serious business and should never ever be taken lightly. Before we can truly build others up, we must deal with ourselves. I know that perfection is not possible or realistic. I’m merely trying to reiterate that growing and maturing in Christ and being a disciple are major responsibilities that should always be taken seriously. 

Yet, I’ve realized that some of us and yes, women of God, don’t seem to be taking maturing and reaching souls for Christ and edifying others seriously because of our own spiritual immaturity and bad decision making – myself included –  whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not. In fact, some of us continue making bad decisions that put us in harm’s way, as well as, engage in negative behaviors that can cause others to regress instead of progress in their walk with God.

When I think about the book of Ruth, which is one of my favorite books in the Bible, I find that it’s a great example of what it means for another woman to truly empower the other. Ruth obviously dealt with the woman in the mirror. She also had her priorities in order and was able to let go of the past, no matter how difficult, in order to follow God’s instructions for her life, which included being used as a vessel to empower Naomi.

Although it will not always be easy and I will make mistakes, I, Carla J. Curtis, pledge to make “dealing with the woman in the mirror” a top priority on a regular basis. It’s truly time for me to make some changes and grow up in certain areas of my life, so that I can be all that God has called me to be.

On Valentine's Day: Make Your First Love a Priority

Photo by Chandan Chaurasia on Unsplash

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:8 (NIV)

Valentine’s Day is often referred as the day for lovers and the words “love” and “romance” are often used in connection with it. The purchase of chocolate, candy, flowers, balloons, cards, and jewelry, as well as, dining out on Valentine’s Day occurs at an all-time high. In fact, according to James S. Kiernan's in his article, 2020 Valentine's Day Facts -- Gifts, Money & More, "$27.4B is the total Valentine's Day projected spending for 2020, which is up 32% from 2019." Let me be clear, I certainly believe in celebrating this day of “love” and “romance,” but I believe love should be shown three hundred and sixty-five days a year. 

Although Valentine’s Day is a holiday that many women anticipate; unfortunately, for some, it is often dreaded and even turns into a day of doom and gloom because they are not married or in serious relationships. No matter what your relationship status is, rather than getting consumed with the world’s “hype” of this holiday, I encourage you to make spending intimate time with God a top priority on Valentine’s Day. When you make spending time with God a top priority on Valentine’s Day, your focus shifts from the commercialism of this day to what is most important – your relationship with Him. As Deuteronomy 6:5 (NIV) says, Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 

To become more intimate with God on Valentine’s Day, here are some suggestions:

• Make it a priority to just be still in order to declutter your mind so that you can hear from God
• Have your own retreat with God where you set aside a certain time frame to just read the Bible, pray and meditate
• Fast from social media, turn off the TV, computer and cell phone for a certain time frame and simply listen to some gospel, jazz or classical music to soothe your soul
• Write down your thoughts or a love letter to God in a journal

In addition to making God a top priority on Valentine’s Day, I believe it is also important to take the focus off of yourself and show love to others because you just never know how your act of kindness is going to bless someone. As 1 John 4:7 (NKJV) states, Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Below are some examples of things that you can do to bless others: 

• Volunteer at a nursing home, children’s hospital or homeless shelter
• Give a gift card to someone from their favorite store or restaurant
• Spend time with a recent widow or widower that is still in the grieving process
• Send a nice note or card to someone you may know that is incarcerated

Being able to celebrate “love” and “romance” on Valentine’s Day is truly a blessing, but just remember that it is most important to take time out of your day for intimacy with God and to “love on” someone else.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

2019 Recap: Challenges Mixed with Blessings and Victories

Photo credit Diana Simumpande, Unsplash.com

“Not everything that is faced can be changed.

But nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

-James Baldwin

The year 2020 is now a reality. With each new year, I reflect on the lessons learned in the previous one and refocus where necessary.

“Girl, get up and make the phone call.” I repeated these words at least a dozen times last year. I pondered this phone call to my dad to let him know I was moving back home after thirty-two years. I knew my dad would welcome me back home with open arms. And, while there my plan was to do absolutely nothing, but lay in the bed and binge on Netflix for at least a few years to rest my mind, recharge and refocus. 

Yes, this sounds juvenile, but at times I was feeling defeated, tired, overwhelmed, and burnt out, which made me yearn to be an adolescent again without any cares in the world or adult responsibilities. 

In 2019, there were challenging times. I gained too much weight. Neglected to stick to my workout routine. Finally admitted out loud to myself and a close friend I had become an emotional eater. Attitude wasn’t always the best, and I was also easily irritated. Depression decided to revisit. Grief overpowered and consumed me. Money was funny. Health challenges got on my nerves. Overall, I found myself in a rut. Therefore, I eventually had to face what was going on in order to make some much-needed changes in my life.

In retrospect, during these challenging times, I also was reminded to press the reset button and of the following:

• Being still to hear from God is crucial to my well-being
• Setting healthy boundaries is essential
• Allocating time on a daily basis for self-care is nonnegotiable
• Incorporating mindfulness in my everyday life is necessary
• Having peace of mind is a beautiful thing
• Engaging in professional and personal development should be ongoing
• Goal-setting and execution should always be a priority
• Improving time management and strategic planning skills are pivotal to achieving goals
• Embracing change and being flexible allows for growth
• Taking risks builds confidence and character
• Being disciplined, focused, determined, and avoiding distractions are required to grow personally and professionally
• Expressive writing for me is cathartic
• Encouraging and instilling hope in others blesses my soul

Although it wasn't an easy feat, I am truly thankful to God that as a therapist I made it a priority to be mentally present and actively listen during individual and group sessions with clients while going through these challenging times. However, I'll confess while in staff meetings, there were times when I wasn't as present as I should have been due to thinking about the challenges that I was experiencing at the time.

Even though I experienced some challenges in 2019, the year was also mixed with blessings and victories. I am blessed to live to see another new year in spite of the struggles I experienced last year. I also celebrate the victories─God pushed me out of my comfort zone to close one door and open another; I began reading and writing more consistently and silencing my inner critic; and I made it a priority to be more grateful. 

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas

Photo by Carlos Hinojosa Zúñiga on Unsplash

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6 NIV

I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas as we celebrate Jesus who is the reason for the season. I hope that you have a wonderful and blessed day. And, as always, thanks for stopping by my blog. I truly appreciate it.