A Bittersweet Fiftieth Birthday

Happy birthday to me! Today I turned fifty years old or as some would say -- a half-century old. Although I am grateful to be on this side of the dirt and am trying my best to be in a celebratory mood, I am not. As usual I received text messages, emails, calls as well as cards and gifts from others, in which I am grateful. However, I am still not in a bubbly mood and just don't really want to celebrate this milestone in my life in a formal sense as I had planned to do in a big way. 

My plans to have a big fiftieth birthday celebration and vacation all changed for me when my mother got sick this summer and died on July 31, 2015. Planning a big birthday bash and celebration took a back seat to helping take care of my mom to switching gears to assist with the planning of her funeral. So a day which I have long anticipated has now turned bittersweet. And, receiving a birthday card from my dad a few days ago signed only with his name made anticipating this day even worse because it was a reminder that my mom is really no longer here. After receiving this birthday card, I immediately went to the gym to work out rather than allowing my melancholy mood to spiral down an even darker tunnel.

Disappointed that I didn’t have a flight this morning to somewhere far away to celebrate this milestone, I forced myself to get out of the bed, thanked God for another day, went in prayer, read some devotionals and scriptures in the Bible and wrote in my journal. After journaling, I cleaned up my house and then went back to bed to sleep a few more hours hoping that when I woke up it would be the next day. But, it wasn’t. Therefore, I was led to start writing again and this blog post was born.

Like writing, water also calms me, so I just took a hot bath and I’m now headed to the gym to break a sweat. I then will return home to relax and just chill out – but not before taking another bath or shower. I love me some water!

All in all, I am thankful to celebrate another birthday and although my mom is no longer with me, I thank the Lord for giving me forty-nine years with her. Tomorrow is yet another day and I plan to do my best to enjoy it. Perhaps, in a few months, I will take a much needed vacation somewhere to celebrate that I am now a half-century old…

© Carla J. Curtis, October 2015

Great Teachers Make a World of Difference

 

Today was a great day. Why?  I had lunch with my fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Betty White, at Boyd’s New Generation Restaurant in my hometown of Springfield, Illinois. This place has some great soul food. We made lunch plans after seeing each other at both my mom and aunt’s funerals – which were only a month apart.

Mrs. White was an excellent teacher and one that I will always remember. She taught grade school for thirty-four years at Iles Elementary School and has been retired for fifteen years. Over the years, I have run into her on occasions and when this happens we always end up having a great conversation. Even though she was my teacher a long time ago, approximately forty years, I have never forgotten her and I truly thank God for a teacher like her.

As a student, I knew Mrs. White sincerely wanted me and the other students to receive a quality education and that she genuinely cared about our well-being. She stressed the importance of education and always inspired her students to excel. In addition, she was stern and didn’t take any mess from students.

We had a great conversation during lunch and although Mrs. White is retired, she still lights up when talking about her time as a teacher. Mrs. White is just as passionate today as she was back then when it comes to educating and inspiring others. And, as a grown woman, it was great for me to gain some additional insight and wisdom from her.

Great teachers make a world of difference in the lives of students. I want to thank Mrs. White for being one of those teachers for me…and for that I am forever grateful!


© Carla J. Curtis, September 2015

Simply Human

Sometimes I hear the words, “Carla, you are strong. Girl, you will be all right.” Being a Christian does not mean that I am strong three hundred and sixty-five days a year. Sometimes I am not strong; nor do I want to be, and I don’t feel like everything will be all right. If you ask me how I am doing or feeling, I will be honest because "lying” is not my thing. I experience all kinds of emotions. For instance, on some days I am full of life, joyful, happy, upbeat, motivated, and ready to conquer the world and merely enjoying life to the fullest. On other days, I’m feeling down, sick and tired, disappointed, frustrated, melancholy, ticked off, fearful, and simply not in a good mood.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that it’s almost as if some Christians are advocates of being emotionless. They would have us believe that their lives are a bed full of roses every day, when in reality, they are in emotional turmoil. They are too ashamed to ask for help or for someone to pray with and for them because they feel it is a sign of weakness, or that they will be judged for having a lack of faith. So they suffer in silence.

While writing this article, I am reminded of some words from one of my all-time favorite books, Listening for God: A Minister’s Journey Through Silence and Doubt, by Rev. Dr. Renita Weems. I am truly blessed that over the years I have heard this prominent and well-respected minister preach a few times in person. She is a dynamic preacher.

In this profound book, Rev. Weems shares her raw and honest emotions about her journey years ago through a spiritual crisis. Although I enjoyed reading this book and have read it more than once, the following passage stuck with me:

Two things kept me afloat during that period in my life. One was my own honesty. I tried at first to lie about what was going on inside my heart, acting as though everything was fine, pretending as a minister and writer that I had an active prayer life and enjoyed intimacy with God. That lie went on for far longer than it should have. I’m grateful that I had a few close friends in my life, themselves ministers, who knew me well enough to know that something was wrong and, when I disclosed to them my secret, loved me enough not to denounce me.

Rev. Weems’ brilliantly, candidly, and honestly bares her soul in this book, which demonstrates her humanness. Even though she shares her raw emotions while going through this winter season in her life, she still understood (and so should we) that even in difficult times that The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold (Psalm 18:2 NIV).

Being a Christian shouldn’t be synonymous with stifling our emotions and becoming stoic because, after all, this may be a turnoff when ministering to others. In addition, bottling up painful emotions is a sure way to do harm to ourselves since not expressing our emotions can manifest itself in a variety of physical symptoms.

This is not to say that we should wallow in our pain, throw constant pity parties, and always be pessimistic. That’s definitely far from the truth! After all, wallowing in gloom and doom is not healthy at all and certainly is not God’s will for our lives.

Overall, expressing our emotions in a healthy manner is therapeutic, healing, and necessary. And, at the end of the day, even as Christians, we must always remember that we are simply human…

© Carla J. Curtis, September 2015

Reading Writing Quotes to Help Alleviate Writer's Block

As a writer, I’ve discovered that reading writing quotes gives me a boost when I’m experiencing writers block or basically in a rut or funk when it comes to writing. Reading writing quotes always helps to spark my creativity and re-engage in the writing process. In fact, I even created my own writing quote several years ago when I was in a writing slump and needed some encouragement. The quote is: Writing to me is like gasoline to an automobile, without it I would be immobilized. And, this is so true, writing is what feeds my soul.

Since I enjoy reading writing quotes, I wanted to share some of my favorites with you.

I hope you enjoying reading them as much as I do.

Until next time, peace.

Sharing our stories can also be a means of healing. Grief and loss may isolate us, and anger may alienate us. Shared with others, these emotions can be powerfully uniting, as we see that we are not alone, and realize that others weep with us.
Susan Wittig Albert

Detail makes the difference between boring and terrific writing. It’s the difference between a pencil sketch and a lush oil painting. As a writer, words are your paint. Use all the colors.
Rhys Alexander

The reason 99% of all stories written are not bought by editors is very simple. Editors never buy manuscripts that are left on the closet shelf at home.
John W. Campbell

It is perfectly okay to write garbage – as long as you edit brilliantly.
C. J. Cherryh

Find the key emotion; this may be all you need know to find your short story.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

Don't be dismayed by the opinions of editors, or critics. They are only the traffic cops of the arts.
Gene Fowler

Plotting is like sex. Plotting is about desire and satisfaction, anticipation and release. You have to arouse your reader's desire to know what happens, to unravel the mystery, to see good triumph. You have to sustain it, keep it warm, feed it, just a little bit, not too much at a time, as your story goes on. That's called suspense. It can bring desire to a frenzy, in which case you are in a good position to bring off a wonderful climax.

Colin Greenland

Plotting isn't like sex, because you can go back and adjust it afterwards. Whether you plan your story beforehand or not, if the climax turns out to be the revelation that the mad professor's anti-gravity device actually works, you must go back and silently delete all those flying cars buzzing around the city on page one. If you want to reveal something, you need to hide it properly first.
Colin Greenland

Fiction is a lie, and good fiction is the truth inside the lie.
Stephen King

I try to create sympathy for my characters, then turn the monsters loose.
Stephen King

The reader has certain rights. He bought your story. Think of this as an implicit contract. He's entitled to be entertained, instructed, amused; maybe all three. If he quits in the middle, or puts the book down feeling his time has been wasted, you're in violation.
Larry Niven

Writing is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to those who have none.
Jules Renard

Don't mistake a good setup for a satisfying conclusion -- many beginning writers end their stories when the real story is just ready to begin.
Stanley Schmidt

I write fiction because it's a way of making statements I can disown.
Tom Stoppard

Characterization is an accident that flows out of action and dialogue.
Jack Woodford

© Carla J. Curtis, September 2015