16 Reasons Why I Write

 


Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash


Why do I enjoy writing? When did I realize that I wanted to be a writer? I get these two questions often. I have asked myself the same questions, and have thought long and hard how to answer them.

As I recall, I developed a passion for writing in the late 1980’s when I first began to journal as a healthy coping skill to help me deal with stressful life events. It eventually became something I enjoyed doing on a consistent basis. And, I also love reading, and reading and writing go hand-in-hand.


However, it wasn’t until 1996 while on a flight during the Christmas holiday that I began seriously thinking about my desire to become a published author, even though my first book wasn’t published until 2011.

Here are 16 reasons why I continue to write: Writing helps me:

  1. Get still to hear my own thoughts
  2. Prevent emotional fatigue
  3. Connect with a deeper part of myself
  4. Cope with life’s stressors
  5. Refocus to avoid distractions
  6. Gain healing and to help others obtain their own healing
  7. Inspire and empower others
  8. Feel a connection to my deceased mother because she was an excellent writer and instilled the importance in me of being able to communicate both verbally and in writing
  9. Record things I am grateful for as well as milestones
  10. Purge feelings of fear, disappointment, frustration, and doubt
  11. Create stories centered around every day and social issues and invent characters who are raw, relatable, flawed, yet have redeeming qualities
  12. Connect with others around the world
  13. Be transparent, be authentic and share life lessons learned over the years from the mistakes I have made in life
  14. Stimulate thought-provoking conversations with others
  15. Encourage others to never give up on their goals and dreams
  16. Avoid overeating


I had this thought almost 20 years ago and it still sums up why I write:


Writing to me is like gasoline to an automobile, without it,

I would be immobilized.

If you, too, enjoy writing, please share in the comments why you write. Inquiring minds want to know.


7 Inspiring and Thought-Provoking Leadership Quotes


Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplashed

 

The African American community is now mourning the loss of a great leader, Rep. John Robert Lewis, a civil rights legend, who recently died of cancer at age 80. 

“Rep. Lewis was the son of sharecroppers who survived a brutal beating by police during a landmark 1965 march in Selma, Alabama, to become a towering figure of the civil rights movement and a longtime Democratic US congressman, who served as the US representative for Georgia's 5th Congressional District for more than three decades. He was widely seen as a moral conscience of Congress because of his decades-long embodiment of nonviolent fight for civil rights. Rep. Lewis fought tirelessly against racial and social injustice.”

As I’ve reflected on Lewis’ death and on some of the negative things going on in the world, I’ve been thinking about what makes a great leader. 

So, while relaxing on my sofa, gripping my iPhone with my left hand, and trying to mentally block out the madness going on in the world, I opened notes and let my mind wander back to a time, more than two decades ago, when I was earning my master’s degree in managerial leadership.

 

I recalled some of the classes and coursework required for me to obtain this degree. Truthfully, this was a great time in my life; therefore, going down memory lane was an enjoyable experience.

 

I thought about the words of John C. Maxwell, considered to be one of the world's top leadership thinkers: “Being a great leader is all about having a genuine willingness and a true commitment to lead others to achieve a common vision and goals through positive influence. No leader can ever achieve anything great or long-lasting all alone. Teamwork goes hand in hand with leadership. Leadership is about people-and for people.”

 

A definition of leadership by the late Dr. Myles Munroe is: “Leadership is the capacity to influence others through inspiration, generated by a passion, motivated by a vision, brought by a conviction, produced by a purpose.”

 

Dr. Flo, a former colleague, summed up leadership this way:

 

“Great leadership is focused on the people and the mission. Weak leadership is focused on self-preservation and public perception.” Dr. Flo Falayi, Leadership Development Expert, Slalom Consulting

 

And because I love to read quotes and come up with my own quotes, I came up with this list of what I consider essential leadership qualities.

 

  1. Sound leadership requires cultural competency.

  2. Empathy and compassion are prerequisites for true leadership.

  3. Servant leaders value lifelong learning.

  4. True leaders understand that collaboration with others is a key to success.

  5. A true leader understands that having good mental health is crucial for success.

  6. Leadership is being able to empower others to silence their inner critic and embrace authenticity.

  7. Soulful leadership requires more heart and less ego.

 

I am interested to know which of my quotes resonates with you. Please leave me a comment to let me know. Also, feel free to share with me some of your favorite leadership quotes.

 

For your information, my blogging goal is to write and publish on the 25th of each month at least one blog post. Eventually when things settle down, I will write and publish blog posts more frequently. 

 

Thank you for taking time to read my blog post. I really appreciate it.


Until next time...

 

#leadership #johnlewis #johnrobertlewis #johnmaxwell #flofayali #quotes #leader #replewis #drflo #mylesmunroe #congressmanlewis 

 

 

 


10 Self-Care Tidbits to Prevent Vicarious Trauma


Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

I can’t breathe.

On May 25, George Floyd a 46-year-old-Black man, who was accused of buying cigarettes with a fake $20 bill, ended up dead moments later after 911 was called and the police arrived on the scene. Floyd was murdered in eight minutes and forty-six seconds by a White policeman putting a knee on his neck as three other policemen watched while ignoring Floyd’s crying out, I can’t breathe. Unfortunately, all too familiar words.

Murders of Black men at the hands of cops. Senseless killings of innocent children by bullets meant for others or at the hands of evil people. Protesting. Rioting. Looting. Blatant racism. Gun violence. Political insanity. And, on top of all that, the COVID-19 pandemic. These are all hot topics constantly being discussed around the world and even in other countries.

Plus, my profession as a therapist requires me to be as fully present as possible with my clients. And, many of them have experienced their own trauma. Although I love my job, listening to clients share their trauma stories, along with dealing with the hot topics I mentioned above going on in the world, is exhausting at times.

No wonder I began experiencing symptoms of vicarious trauma, also known as secondary trauma.

Truthfully, you too could be experiencing symptoms of vicarious trauma. In fact, as you read this blog post, you could even be recovering from your own COVID-19 diagnosis. Sadly, enough you could be grieving the loss of family members or friends to this deadly virus.

Exactly what is vicarious trauma?

“Vicarious trauma (VT) and Secondary Traumatic Stress (STS) are frequently used interchangeably to refer to the indirect trauma that can occur when we are exposed to difficult or disturbing images and stories second-hand. This can occur by viewing graphic news reports, gruesome or frightening television shows and various other media, hearing a detailed traumatic story from another person, viewing crime scene evidence, working in a court room, attending a debriefing or a conference where disturbing images are described or shown, and many other ways in which we can be indirectly affected by the content or visuals of some other living creature’s suffering.”

I have been experiencing the following symptoms of vicarious trauma:


●       Emotional – feelings of grief, sadness, and irritability

●       Behavioral – difficulty sleeping

●       Physiological – out of nowhere a rash developed on my elbow that was itching me like crazy

●       Cognitive – difficulty concentrating

●       Spiritual – feeling disconnected from others

Therefore, I increased my self-care. Truthfully, self-care is even more paramount because of all the uncertainties and stressful times we are living in today.

According to Raphalia Michael, MA, self-care is defined as:


“Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Although it is a simple concept in theory, it is something we very often overlook. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. It’s also key to a good relationship with oneself and others.”

If you have flown on an airplane any time in your life, you’re told that, in the event of an emergency, put your own mask on first.  

Why do you think this spiel is always repeated before take-off?

I will tell you.

If you do not put the oxygen mask on yourself first, you will not be able to help anyone else should an emergency occur. 

Self-care is like that oxygen mask. It’s crucial to prevent the vicarious trauma symptoms I have been experiencing from exacerbating. Eventually helping others will become a pastime if I neglect myself.

Below are 10 self-help techniques that I have recently kicked up a notch:

 

  1. I limit my time watching the news and on social media and avoid heated debates with folks over various posts that really do not matter in the scheme of things
  2. I reach out to fellow mental health professionals for support without feeling ashamed to do so
  3. I ensure that I go to the nail shop and get a pedicure twice a month
  4. I keep balance in my life
  5. I read at least one book a week
  6. I journal more consistently
  7. I watch more comedies and less crime shows
  8. I listen to some of Amazon Music’s gospel streaming platforms
  9. I consistently go walking in the nearby park
  10. I pray, pray, and pray some more

If you feel as though you are experiencing vicarious trauma, please feel free to use any of the tidbits above. 

And, remember that you are not alone…



 

 

 

 

 


13 Steps to Get Through Burnout During My 14-Day COVID-19 Quarantine




I stumbled out of my bed while dizzy and nauseous, surprised that I was so sick. Yeah, I’ll be honest and admit I had been having a mild cough the last few days, a runny nose and chronic fatigue the last week or so.

I had gone back and forth to the bathroom four times. While lying in the bed and doing deep breathing, between each vomiting session, the dizziness and nausea eventually subsided, yet I was extremely fatigued.

I mustered the strength to pick up my iPhone, go search my contacts for my boss’s number to call and let her know I wouldn’t be coming in the office that day.

I was now wondering if my symptoms could be that of COVID-19. I then called my daughter, a nurse practitioner, to discuss my symptoms. My daughter advised me to call the nearest Emergency Room (ER) to speak with someone and tell them about my symptoms and pre-existing medical conditions to see if I should go there to be tested for COVID-19.

I called the ER at one of the local hospitals. I was told by a nurse to contact my primary physician because it wouldn’t be wise for me to come to the ER because if I didn’t already have COVID-19, there is a high probability I would get it while there. She also said that it was at the discretion of the doctors to test for COVID-19 or not.

After being examined by my primary physician, I was told I presented with some symptoms of COVID-19, but since his office didn’t actually administer the test it couldn’t be confirmed. He then said because of my chronic medical conditions, that I should quarantine for fourteen days. My doctor also advised me not to go to the ER for fear that I could get COVID-19, if I didn’t already have it.

I was now back at home and feeling better yet queasy and extremely fatigued. While in deep thought the scripture Romans 8:28 (KJV), “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose” quickly came to mind. So, it was then I realized that something positive would come out of me being quarantined.

I decided to use this time to address the symptoms of burnout I’d been experiencing for a while and just didn’t want to address.

According to the article “The Tell Tale Signs of Burnout ... Do You Have Them?” written by Sherrie Bourgeois Carter Psy.D., burnout is defined as “a state of chronic stress that leads to:

●       Physical and emotional exhaustion
●       Cynicism and detachment
●       Feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment”

Burnout doesn’t happen at once and I had been experiencing symptoms of feeling exhausted much of the time and engaging in escapist behaviors such as binge-watching Netflix. I also was experiencing increased anxiety, as well as, insomnia, and being cynical and easily irritated longer than I wanted to admit.

You see, I experienced burnout a few decades ago which required me to take a leave of absence from work, so I knew firsthand what would happen if I did not deal with the symptoms I was currently experiencing. Therefore, I decided to use the time to recover effectively from burnout, since I know that it does not go away on its own, to get refocused, refreshed and renewed.

In doing so, I did the following:

  1. Rested and slept as much as possible without putting any expectations on myself
  2. Participated in deep introspection, soul searching and self-reflection
  3. Engaged in cathartic and mindful journal writing
  4. Limited my time on social media
  5. Reassessed my goals
  6. Read some scriptures in the Bible and positive affirmations
  7. Re-read the book Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan for Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer by Priscilla Shirer and this time took copious notes
  8. Set healthy boundaries with others
  9. Brainstormed blog topics to write about
  10. Cleaned my house and did some organizing of paperwork
  11. Went walking in my neighborhood to boost my mood while at the same time ensuring that I was social distancing myself from others
  12. Scheduled a teletherapy session with my therapist
  13. Prayed, prayed and prayed some more

I now feel refocused, refreshed and renewed, because I made it a priority during the quarantine to rest my mind, body and soul and make self-care a number one priority.

If you too have been quarantined due to the coronavirus pandemic and are exhibiting signs of burnout, feel free to use some of the tips above to help prevent it.


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