Wow!
While cleaning out files on my computer recently, I ran across this article that
I wrote in November 2015 that was never published. Writing has always been
cathartic for me, so writing this article during such a tough year was
necessary and therapeutic. You see, in 2015, I lost four close loved ones: my Aunt
Sylvia, my beloved mother, Carline, my Aunt Shirley, and my Uncle Clarence, in
addition to coping with all kinds of life stressors. Truth be told, 2013 and
2014 were tough years too, but in 2015 I thought that I would end up in a
psych ward. If you are going through some tough times, I hope something in this
article will encourage you to keep pressin’ on no matter what.
- ≿————- ❈ ————-≾
Sickness,
death, financial strain, family issues, stress, worry and transitions on many
levels have been constant these last few years for me. In the midst of them all,
I’ve been blessed too, but there have been some days when getting out of bed was
a painful chore. What I found interesting, though, during these times, is that
when reading the Bible—no matter what chapters I chose to get me through the
particular tribulation--I always ended up re-reading the scriptures that I had
highlighted earlier:
Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness; To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto thee forever (Psalm 30:11-12 KJV).
Each time
after reading these scriptures, I say to myself, “Here go these scriptures
again.”
This morning
while thanking God that I had a great Thanksgiving even though this is the
first one without my mother, I felt a sense of peace. Now, leading up to this
day was not easy, and of course there were many tears shed, but I got
through it. About thirty of us gathered together at my cousins’ house
eating some great food and having wonderful conversation. I truly thank God for
this time! And, although Christmas and New Year’s Eve are just around the
corner, I am thanking God in advance for the great time that I am going to have
even before my plans are made.
Reminiscing
about the last few days, I rejoice that my heaviness is no longer all
consuming. I decided to read these scriptures again, and this time
the meaning was clearer to me. The dark
fog is melting away. That is not to say that I still don’t have some
struggles, because I do, but I now no longer allow them to consume my
every thought and allow them to totally drain me emotionally, preventing
me from enjoying life.
Life is not
always going to be easy, but God surely reminded me today while in deep
thought lying in my bed this morning, that mourning’s over and
it’s dancing time – figuratively and literally – so I’m gonna put on
my dancing shoes!
© Copyright Carla J. Curtis
July 2019
