Are you feeling
stuck, hopeless, and don’t know which way to go? Are you struggling with achieving
balance in your life? At one time or another, we all have been at that point in
our lives. You may be working diligently to get your life back on track, yet
end up back at the same spot – stuck and unbalanced. You may even find yourself
incapable of untangling your thoughts.
Although you may be
feeling as if you are standing in quicksand, the truth is, this could be a warning
sign from God you are heading down the wrong path, or that you need to make
some changes in your life by seeking a new direction altogether. As one who has
experienced being stuck and unbalanced on several occasions, I understand clearly
how you may be feeling. To help me get through this season in life, I follow the
three steps outlined below. Perhaps they can help you too:
1. Exercise Introspection. Delve into the depths of your soul in self-reflection to begin trying to figure out what is the underlining cause of your current struggle. For example, during this process, I make sure to set aside some quiet time to explore my thoughts and feelings without any distractions, which includes taking a break from social media, talking on the phone, or watching TV.
Because writing is cathartic for me, I grab my journal and pen to begin jotting down answers to questions such as:
• How did I get here?
• Is there a lesson I am supposed to learn?
• What area needs improving in my life?
• What is the first step I can take to begin feeling more hopeful?
• How can I get myself motivated to re-focus on my goals?
I also pray, meditate, listen to gospel or other soothing music, inspirational podcasts, or watch videos or “Ted Talks” for encouragement and to gain some insight.
In addition, I develop a vision board. According to Jack Canfield, “Vision boards, also known as dream boards, are simple devices of the most valuable visualization tools available to you. The inspirational collages serve as your image of the future – a tangible example, idea or representation of where you are going. It should represent your dreams, your goals, and your ideal life (https://www.jackcanfield.com/blog/how-to-create-an-empowering-vision-book/).”
It may not be easy for you to self-reflect because it could force you to uncover some painful memories. It could also expose bitter truths about yourself as well as reveal that you have been putting others’ needs before your own, that you lack focus and discipline, or a need to improve your self-esteem and self-management skills. It also could compel you to make important decisions that you have been avoiding or have not been brave enough to undertake. It is important, however, to remember that you will emerge wiser after this process.
“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
― Carl Jung
2. Hold Yourself Accountable. Once you have successfully reflected on everything going on in your life, you must hold yourself accountable for what is happening.
In this process, I always ask myself the following questions:
• Do I feel like my life is stuck and unhinged because I am dwelling on past mistakes?
• If so, what am I going to do to hold myself accountable? For instance, I might call a close friend and ask him or her to help hold me accountable for making a positive change in my life.
The bottom line is that you must hold your ground and learn to be comfortable in accepting anything that might arise from this process.
“Accountability breeds response-ability.”
― Stephen R. Covey
3. Learn to be Adaptable. To get unstuck to lead a life of purpose and balance, you must learn to be flexible and comfortable with being uncomfortable. During this last step, I ask myself the following questions:
• Is fear causing me to resist change?
• Am I being lazy?
• Do I need to set some healthy boundaries?
You could discover that you may need to cut yourself off from some people in your life, either temporarily or permanently, to get in touch with your spirituality and focus more on self-love, all of which requires that you be adaptable.
In a world of disposables and fast-paced technology, it will be hard for you to accomplish any of your goals if you don’t adapt because staying the same is not an option. However, remember never to sacrifice your values in the process. Being adaptable requires you to make a paradigm shift in your thinking, adjusting your attitude, and welcoming change with open arms.
“Every success story is a tale of constant adaption, revision, & change.”
– Richard Branson
Overall, to get unstuck to lead a life of purpose and balance, I want to remind you that this season is not everlasting; however, you must roll up your sleeves and do the work it takes to push through. I want to add that as a part of this process, I also schedule a maintenance appointment with my therapist to deal with my thoughts about anything that is brought to the surface and to help me sort through some things. Lastly, always remember to have fun, enjoy life along the way, and exercise self-compassion as you experience this season in your life.
© Carla J. Curtis, August 2019
Carla J. Curtis, MS, LPC, CADC, is a Co-Occurring Disorder Specialist/Therapist serving as a trustworthy lifeline for clients she is entrusted to work with at a not-for-profit, comprehensive provider of mental health and senior citizens’ support services. Carla is also the author of three Christian inspirational books, one short story and has a story featured in a women’s anthology. She is also the creator and blogger for Carla's Reflections and has written book reviews and articles over the years for online and print publications. Carla resides in Chicago’s northwest suburbs and enjoys spending time with family and friends, traveling, watching movies, binging on Netflix, reading, writing, and attending church.
Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul® and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com.
