Simply Human

Sometimes I hear the words, “Carla, you are strong. Girl, you will be all right.” Being a Christian does not mean that I am strong three hundred and sixty-five days a year. Sometimes I am not strong; nor do I want to be, and I don’t feel like everything will be all right. If you ask me how I am doing or feeling, I will be honest because "lying” is not my thing. I experience all kinds of emotions. For instance, on some days I am full of life, joyful, happy, upbeat, motivated, and ready to conquer the world and merely enjoying life to the fullest. On other days, I’m feeling down, sick and tired, disappointed, frustrated, melancholy, ticked off, fearful, and simply not in a good mood.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that it’s almost as if some Christians are advocates of being emotionless. They would have us believe that their lives are a bed full of roses every day, when in reality, they are in emotional turmoil. They are too ashamed to ask for help or for someone to pray with and for them because they feel it is a sign of weakness, or that they will be judged for having a lack of faith. So they suffer in silence.

While writing this article, I am reminded of some words from one of my all-time favorite books, Listening for God: A Minister’s Journey Through Silence and Doubt, by Rev. Dr. Renita Weems. I am truly blessed that over the years I have heard this prominent and well-respected minister preach a few times in person. She is a dynamic preacher.

In this profound book, Rev. Weems shares her raw and honest emotions about her journey years ago through a spiritual crisis. Although I enjoyed reading this book and have read it more than once, the following passage stuck with me:

Two things kept me afloat during that period in my life. One was my own honesty. I tried at first to lie about what was going on inside my heart, acting as though everything was fine, pretending as a minister and writer that I had an active prayer life and enjoyed intimacy with God. That lie went on for far longer than it should have. I’m grateful that I had a few close friends in my life, themselves ministers, who knew me well enough to know that something was wrong and, when I disclosed to them my secret, loved me enough not to denounce me.

Rev. Weems’ brilliantly, candidly, and honestly bares her soul in this book, which demonstrates her humanness. Even though she shares her raw emotions while going through this winter season in her life, she still understood (and so should we) that even in difficult times that The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold (Psalm 18:2 NIV).

Being a Christian shouldn’t be synonymous with stifling our emotions and becoming stoic because, after all, this may be a turnoff when ministering to others. In addition, bottling up painful emotions is a sure way to do harm to ourselves since not expressing our emotions can manifest itself in a variety of physical symptoms.

This is not to say that we should wallow in our pain, throw constant pity parties, and always be pessimistic. That’s definitely far from the truth! After all, wallowing in gloom and doom is not healthy at all and certainly is not God’s will for our lives.

Overall, expressing our emotions in a healthy manner is therapeutic, healing, and necessary. And, at the end of the day, even as Christians, we must always remember that we are simply human…

© Carla J. Curtis, September 2015